


Living with winter

by Fantasticoncer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, One Shot Collection, Out of Character, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Reader is Natasha's sister, Sister-Sister Relationship, Tony didn't sell the tower
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasticoncer/pseuds/Fantasticoncer
Summary: Life with the winter soldier is never boring





	1. Not alone

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. I don't own the song "not alone" by starkid either

"Bucky, I'm home!" You called as you walked into the door of your floor/apartment in Avengers tower. You put down your bags and hung up your jacket, before you realised that something was wrong. By now, your boyfriend would have greeted you with a hug and a kiss, but today: nothing. "Bucky?" You called again. There was absolutely no response at all.

You grabbed your gun from your bag, just in case and snuck further in. You peeked around the door from your living room and saw Bucky sitting on the couch, staring at nothing. You walked in further, hiding your gun behind your back. "Bucky? Are you alright?" You asked. The soldier gave no reaction. He gave no indication that he even knew you were here. This was bad. 

You looked at the ceiling. "FRIDAY, please tell Steve to come here and that it's urgent. Call my sister too" You ordered.  _"yes ma'am."_ Tony's AI responded. Putting the gun away, you made yourself as small as possible. Steve told you that if this would happen, Bucky would respond better if he didn't see you as a threat. Squatting low to the ground, you awkwardly walked towards the unresponsive man. You slowly reached out and put a hand on his knee, looking carefully for any signs of danger. "Bucky? Come on sweetie. Look at me." You whispered.

You heard the door open and Steve's voice calling you in a concerned tone. A few seconds later, the blond super soldier walked in, your sister Natasha following. They saw you still trying to get Bucky to react. "I found him like this when I came home. I've been trying to get him to respond, but nothing yet." You told the other spy/soldier couple, while not taking your eyes of your soldier.

How ironic was it that you and your sister both fell for the only two super soldiers in existence. But that really was not the point right now. Steve quickly kneeled next to you, Natasha kept watching from a distance, ready to help if necessary. "Come on, Buck. We're right here. Wake up." Steve said, but Bucky still gave no indication that he heard either of you. 

You and Steve just looked at each other in concern, when you heard a small gasp. You both immediately looked at Bucky, whose body was starting to shake, little gasps coming out of his mouth. His eyes watered, before tears rolled over his cheeks. "No..." Bucky moaned. You and Steve looked at each other in concern, even your sister looked concerned.

"No.... I refuse..... I will not kill.... You can't make me.... No." Bucky muttered, his voice getting more and more scared and desperate. Your heart broke and you sat down next to him, danger be damned. You carefully put your arms around him and slowly rocked him back and forth. "Sssshhh... it's alright, baby. You're safe and you don't have to kill anyone." You whispered. Seeing that he wasn't calming down, you thought off something else.

After showing Bucky the Harry Potter books and movies, you had also shown him a trio of parody musicals: A very Potter Musical, A very Potter Sequel and A very Potter Senior Year. The musicals made absolutely no sense at times and you both loved it. There were several songs in the musicals that Bucky really liked, but there was one song that always calmed him down, no matter what. You just hoped that it would work this time as well. You pulled Bucky even closer, as you opened your mouth to sing. 

 _I've been alone_  
_Surrounded by darkness_  
_And I've seen how heartless_  
_The world can be._

  
_And I've seen you crying_  
_You felt like it's hopeless_  
_I'll always do my best_  
_To make you see_

You felt bucky slowly calm down, as your voice finally reached him, his normal arm reaching up and gripping yours. You smiled and continued

  
_'Cause baby, you're not alone_  
_'Cause you're here with me_  
_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
_And you know it's true_  
_It don't matter what'll come to be_  
_Our love is all we need to make it through_...

 

_Now I know it ain't easy_

Your smile got even bigger when you heard Bucky sing the next line very softly, his voice still shaken.

_(No, it ain't easy)_

_But it ain't hard trying_

_(It's so hard trying)_

_Everytime I see you smiling_

_And I feel you so close to me..._

_Tell me:_

Bucky softly smiled back at you, as you both sang together

_Cause baby, you're not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

Even tough the next part was normally sung by the male, Bucky nodded at you to take it. You smiled at him. 

_Well I still have trouble_

_I trip and stumble_

_Trying to make sense of things sometimes..._

_I look for reasons_

_But I don't need 'em_

_All I need is to look in your eyes_

_And I realize..._

Bucky smiled full of pride, now finally back to himself. You were his singing angel and he loved you more then anything. He put his forehead against yours as he joined back in. 

_Baby, you're not alone_

_'Cause you're here with me_

_And nothing's ever gonna take us down_

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

You both smiled at each other. "Hello sweetie."  You said. He chuckled. "Really? You make a reference to that show NOW?" He asked. You simply shrugged. "She's one of my favourite characters, so why not?" Bucky shook his head with a smile, before turning towards Steve. "Hey punk. When did you get here?" He asked, only now noticing him and Natasha standing there. Steve let out a big sigh of relief. "We got here, when your concerned girlfriend called us, saying that you didn't respond to anything she said or did. We were worried about you, you jerk." He said, happy that his friend was back to normal. 

Bucky looked back at you. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." He muttered, pulling you closer. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder. "It's alright. You're okay now. That's all that matters." You whisper, stroking his hair. Natasha and Steve stayed for a while longer, before leaving. You showed him out. "That was quite a risk you took, sitting down next to Barnes like that. He could have attacked you." Natasha muttered.

You rolled your eyes at that. Your sister had said that before "Come on, Nat. Have a little bit of faith in me. And when are you going to call him Bucky? He gets nervous when you call him by his last name." You saw her smirk and realised that was her intention. "Well then, I hope you and Rogers have a good day." She gave you a glare and you smirked, giving a mock salute.

After they left, you went back to the living room and found Bucky reading a book. He looked up at you and smiled, his eyes warm and full of love, but also a bit of something else. Something that you could not place. You laid down on the couch next to him and put your head in his lap. He stroked your hair softly and you closed your eyes. You heard him sigh.

"I don't understand why you insist on staying with me. I mean: look at me. I'm broken and dangerous and you deserve better." You open your eyes again. "Bucky, I'm not exactly snow white either. We both did terrible things for terrible people and we can't change that. But we can start over with people who care about us. I love you James and that will never change as long as I live." You stated, using his first name to show how serious you were.

 He looked down at you with a small smile. "I love you too, my angel. I don't know how I managed to have you, but I thank the heavens every day for the pleasure of waking up beside you." You beamed a smile at him, sitting up a bit in order to give him a kiss. He gladly kissed you back, holding you close. After you broke apart, you grabbed your tablet and tapped on it for a few seconds, turning the tv on at the same time.

Making a connection between the tablet and the tv, you snuggled up to Bucky, your head on his shoulders. His arms wrapped around you, just as the words  _A very Potter Musical_ appeared on screen, accompanied by a familiar tune. You heard your boyfriend chuckle, before calming down. You laughed at the jokes and hummed/sang along with the songs. However, when one particular song came on, Bucky decided to just listen. You did the same, except for the very last line.

_It don't matter what will come to be. Our love is all we need to make it true...._


	2. The mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to the mall with your sister and your boyfriends.

 disclaimer:I don't own the Avengers.

You were lying on your bed, reading a magazine and bored out of your mind. You could hear Bucky rummaging around in the living room. The sound would have been annoying to other people, but you found the sound comforting. After his catatonic episode a few weeks ago, you were scared that it would happen again. Both you and Steve had been keeping an eye on him. You were pretty sure that the two of you were driving him crazy. You chuckle to yourself at that thought. 

There was a knock on the front door. You heard Bucky open it and a few seconds later, your sister walked into the room. "Come on, Y/N. We're going to the mall." You raised an eyebrow in surprise. Did your sister just say that? Natasha never volunteered to go to the mall, unless strictly necessary. Seeing your surprise, Natasha sighed. "Steve needs some new clothing for Tony's party this Friday and he asked if you wanted to come along."

You nodded in understanding. That made sense. You were bored anyway. You got up and walked out of your room. "Hey Bucky. Want to go to the mall? We're going." Bucky hadn't been outside much, except for dates, thinking it best if he stayed away from the masses. This was a nice opportunity for him to go out and you weren't sure if you wanted to leave him alone already. Seeing him so unresponsive had really scared you. Your boyfriend thought for a minute, before agreeing. "I need some new clothes for the party anyway."

The four of you took one of Tony's cars. Luckily not all of them were very expensive, luxury cars and some looked like they could be owned by anyone. Tony did threaten you not to scratch it, but you knew that he didn't mean it, because frankly, you and your sister terrified him from time to time. You were all wearing normal, inconspicuous clothing, with Bucky wearing clothes that covered his metallic arm.

You parked close to the mall, walking the last bit yourself. You and Bucky kept holding each other's hands. Walking inside, you turned towards you sister. "Shall we split up? Meet each other in an hour or so? This way it might just go faster." You suggested. Your sister agreed to meet with you at the Starbucks close by. With that, she and Steve walked away. 

You turned to Bucky, only to see him stare in awe at everyting. "James? Are you alright?" You had decided to call him James in public, especially now that he was slowly starting to become a known Avenger. "James" didn't stand out as much as "Bucky". Your boyfriend turned towards you. "I'm alright, darling. It's just SO much." He muttered, grabbing your hand with his normal one.

You smiled and squeezed his hand. You had the exact same feeling once, after you and Natasha were saved from the Red Room all those years ago. Russian spies couldn't exactly go shopping whenever they wanted, let alone the Winter Soldier. You had gone to the mall quite a few times ever since then, Bucky had not. You smiled and adjusted the cap that he was wearing on his head.

Seeing a particular store, you grinned. You knew exactly how to calm your soldier's nerves. "Wait here." You told your boyfriend and you walked towards it, returning with two ice cream cones: one with your favourite flavour and the other one with Bucky's. He grinned at you. "You read my mind, darling." Giving you a quick kiss, before he pretty much dove into his ice cream, looking around the mall at the same time. 

Once your cones were finished, you started to look around. Walking hand in hand past several stores, something caught your eye and you pulled your boyfriend into a toy shop with a grin. "First the ice cream and now this. Darling, aren't we a bit too old for toys?" Bucky asked in both confusion and exasperation. You snorted, knowing that the both of you weren't looking your actual age. "Oh shut up, old man. Look." You said

You grabbed a toy that was modelled after the man standing next to you. "He looks just like you." You teased him further. Your voice barely contained your giggle. He rolled his eyes, just as two small boys ran past you. One was holding a Captain America action figure and the other a Winter Soldier action figure. "I'm Captain America and I'm gonna kick your butt!" One of the boys yelled. The boy's mother ran after him, trying to calm him down.

You laughed. "Did you play like that when you were children?" You asked Bucky. He looked surprised for a moment. "Who? Me and Steve? Hell no, we were lucky if he could walk down the street without fainting, let alone play. We just read mostly. Boring at times, but at least Steve was able to do that." He answered. You smirked. "That didn't stop him apparently from getting into fights that he couldn't win without back up." You giggled, nudging Bucky. 

He sighed. "Tell me about it." He muttered darkly, but with a soft smile. The one that he always got when he thought of the old days. You suddenly noticed the boy that was holding the Winter Soldier action figure staring at Bucky. You nudged him and pointed towards the kid. He smiled and put his index finger to his lips, urging him to stay silent. The boy nodded, still looking up at him in awe. He slowly walked towards you. "I just wanted to say that you're really awesome and I really like you" The boy said shyly, before quickly running away. You smiled at that, before turning towards Bucky, seeing his shocked face.

You laughed, before sobering up and asking the question that had plagued you for a while now. "If you could, would you go back? Would you change anything? Not become the Winter soldier, for example." You asked. He thought for a minute. "While my past isn't the most pleasant, if I had stayed at home, I would have never met you. You are better then any girl that I could have gotten in the 40's. Except for one" He whispered. You looked up at him in confusion.

He had never talked about another girl before. He chuckled nervously. "I met her just after the war began. She and her sister appeared out of nowhere. We got close rather quickly." He looked down at his shoes. "I really loved her, but it was not to be." He told you. You cupped his cheek with your left hand. "I'm sorry." You whispered. He smiled at you softly, gripping your hand with his.

"Don't be, Angel. I have you now and that's all I need. Yes, I miss her, but I can't keep looking to the past. I have to look to the future and the future is you."  You softly smiled at that and gave him a small kiss, aware that you were in a store with children and their parents. You caressed his cheek, before letting go, missing the way Bucky looked at your hand as it left his face.

You turned back and put the toy back on the shelf, looking at the other toys standing there. You turned back to ask Bucky something, but he was gone. You looked around and sighed. "Disadvantage of dating a former assassin: he can walk away without notice." You muttered very softly to yourself, as you started to look for him. Normally, you WOULD have noticed him leaving, but the toy store was so busy and loud with playing children, that it had escaped your notice. 

You found him standing in the plush toy section, holding a cuddly wolf plush. He saw you coming and grinned a bit guilty. "Sorry for walking away darling, but I saw this and I couldn't resist. Can I have it? Please?" He begged, giving you his puppy dog eyes. You stopped for a second to really look at this picture before you. The big bad Winter Soldier: the fist of HYDRA, was holding a wolf plush toy and asking you if he could have it, puppy dog eyes included. You shook your head with a smile and shrugged in answer. You could rarely say no to those blue eyes anyway. He's grinned and clutched the doll against him. He was such a child at times.

After paying for the doll and putting it in a plastic bag (buying it: fine, but you were not going to walk around with it). When Bucky wasn't looking, you had also bought the Winter Soldier action figure and a Captain America action figure. You walked into a store that had clothes for both men and women. This store was usually for people who were a bit richer, but you were friend's with Tony Stark, so it was no problem for you. You picked a few shirts for Bucky, all of them looking very nice. You also bought a new suit for the party of next Friday.

You walked to the women section. You found a couple of nice dresses in your favourite colours and held one of them up in front of you. "What do you think?" You asked your boyfriend. He smiled at you. "It looks nice darling, but I did want to see your beautiful body wearing it." You looked down, your cheeks becoming red. Bucky put his hand beneath your chin and lifted your face back up with a grin.

"I mean it, my angel. Don't be ashamed of how you look. You will always look beautiful to me" He whispered, cupping your cheek. You smiled and kissed his palm, feeling that it was his metal one. He became more and more comfortable about touching you with his prosthetic. This included holding your hand and cupping your cheek, like he was doing now.He let go of your face and grabbed your hand. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's see if those dresses fit." He pulled you towards the dressing rooms.

You chuckled all the way. You knew a lot of men, who avoided the clothes store like the plague, but it seemed that Bucky wasn't one of those men. He actually seemed excited, but that was probably at the prospect of seeing you in new clothing. You went into an empty dressing room and closed the door, Bucky sitting down on a chair across from it. You stepped out of the room in your first dress. Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but someone did it first. "Wow, baby. You look very nice." A young man looked at you in appreciation, either oblivious or ignorant of Bucky's glare.

You raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you, sir?" You asked, trying to remain polite. "Well you can either give me your number or spare me the trouble and come with me." He leered at you. Bucky glared at him and wrapped an arm around your waist. "She's taken, sir. Now leave." The former assassin growled. You put a hand on his arm to calm him down The man looked at you, as if he exactly expected you to protest. You simply smiled and walked towards him. The man sent a smug smile towards Bucky, thinking he had won.That smile disappeared, when you grabbed his neck harshly and pulled him closer.

"Listen here, you jerk. I'm enjoying some time with my boyfriend. Your presence is ruining that time. Leave or I'll make your time on earth very unpleasant. Am I clear?" You asked in a low voice. The man quickly nodded and you let him go. He quickly ran away. You turned towards Bucky. "Thank you for having my back, soldier." Bucky smiled and pulled you in a hug. " You're welcome darling. Now, come on. I want to see if any of the other dresses look as good on you as this one does." He continued, giving you a small push towards the dressing room. You giggled and went back in to change. There were no interruptions after that. 

_Meanwhile._

 Steve and Natasha walked around, going to a different store for their clothing. Steve found a nice black tux and Natasha found a nice dress that fitted with her hair. Steve's look when he saw her in that dressed, healed and thawed Natasha's wounded and cold heart a bit more. But she wasn't a spy for nothing and she knew that something was bothering Steve and she wanted to knows what it was. "Steve, what's wrong? I know something's on your mind and I want to know what." Steve sighed knowing that he couldn't lie.

"I just feel like this is way out of my league. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn and now I'm suddenly able to go into these expensive stores and shops. Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve it." He said, looking down at his feet. Natasha was having none of that. "Steve. If anyone deserves it, it's you. You gave everything in the war and you still give everything today. Just enjoy the fact that you can and don't focus on the why or how." The spy said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. Steve smiled and gave her a kiss. Natasha wasn't very good with emotions, but she meant what she said. Still holding hands, they continued on their trip. 

"Wasn't there anyone for you before the ice? No girl at all?" Natasha asked, a bit of uncertainty in her tone. Steve heard it and squeezed her hand. "After I got the serum, there were a lot of gals interested in me, but there was one who cared about me before all that. She didn't care if I was small or sick. If anything, she was even more stubborn than Bucky." He smiled at the memory. Natasha smiled too, glad that there had been someone else for him. Most girls would be jealous, but Natasha wasn't like most girls.

She was just glad that there was someone, who didn't care for Steve's sicknesses or appearance. At least he had someone, besides Bucky. "What was her name? Did you try to find her?" She asked. Steve shrugged in answer. "Her name was Natalie. I did try to find her and I found out that she died a few years ago." He replied. Natasha frowned a bit, hearing that he was lying, but letting it go for now. She would find out the truth later. For now, she hugged her boyfriend and continued walking.

"Do you miss her?" She asked. Steve sighed. "There are times that I wish that I could talk to her again, but I have you now, my Tigress and I'm happy." Natasha smiled. Steve had recently started to call her his Tigress, because she was both graceful and deadly and she actually liked it. She didn't have a nickname for him, but he didn't mind. And now that they were on the subject of girlfriends....

"Did Barnes have anyone?" She asked. "Yeah, he was quite a hit with the ladies. However, a few months before America joined the war, he met someone and she changed his life. He didn't look at any other woman, but her after that. He even proposed to her, just before he fell." Natasha nodded, a pang of pity shooting through her. Bucky had gone through so much and now she found out about a lost fiancee. "Did HE try to find her?" She asked. "Not as far as I know. I think it's too painful for him." Steve said with a sad voice. Natasha nodded, before switching to happier topics. 

The four of you met up soon after, having finished your shopping. "I saw a guy look like he had met the devil himself. Did either of you do something?" You let out a small smirk. "Why would you think that, sis?" You asked nonchalantly. She raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. You shrugged. "Some guy tried to flirt with me, but we scared him off" Natasha looked like she was ready to hunt that guy down. "It's okay Nat. He won't bother us again."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but a shout interrupted them "Hey, isn't that Captain America and Black Widow?" Someone said suddenly, starting a commotion that became louder and louder. Bucky and Steve looked at each other. "Run!" Bucky called, picking you up in bridal style and running towards the exit., Steve doing the same with Natasha. The both of you simply laughed at the situation. It was crazy, but it was your life and you didn't want it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was chapter 2. The wolf toy part was inspired by an interview with Sebastian.  
> The chapters will have an underlining connection. You can read them on their own, but there will be references and continuations of other chapters. Read and Review. See you next time.
> 
> Next up: a party


	3. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A formal party and a spoiled brat.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.

"Come on, darling. We'll be late for cocktails." You heard Bucky's voice from outside your door. Checking you make-up one last time, you stepped out of the door. Bucky's jaw dropped at the sight of you. You were wearing a form fitting dress in your favourite colour and only natural make-up. Bucky walked towards you and pulled you in his arms. "You look absolutely beautiful, my Angel. I'm so lucky to have you."

You ducked your head shyly at the praise. Bucky chuckled, putting his fingers underneath your chin and lifting your face back up. "It's true, darling. I am so lucky to have a beautiful woman at my side. I will always do my best to be worthy of you." He vowed. You smiled at him and cupped his cheek. "You already are." You whispered, pulling him closer for a kiss. Once you broke apart, Bucky draped his am around your waist and led you of of your apartment. While waiting for the elevator, you couldn't help, but admire Bucky's suit. He looked so handsome in it. You smiled to yourself. Bucky wasn't the only one, who was lucky.

You met your sister and Steve close to the exit. "Well, look at the two of you all dressed up. You look beautiful, sis." You said. Your sister smiled at you in thanks. She was wearing a beautiful green dress that went well with her red hair. Steve looked handsome too in a nice black suit. The party was a very formal affair, so you had to dress up to the nines.

You wished it was a casual party, like you had in the tower, but oh well. The four of you went inside the car and drove towards your destination. You arrived at a very grand building. You stepped out and just admired it. Bucky offered you his arm and let you towards the entrance. "I swear: if Loki ruins this party, I'll be SO pissed." Natasha muttered. You chuckled at that.

"Loki hasn't done something bad for the past few months and Thor keeps a very close eye on him, so I highly doubt it." You replied. You felt a little protective of Loki, despite his actions and what he had done to earth and New York. If it hadn't been for Loki, it would have taken you a whole lot longer to confess your feelings to Bucky, if you ever would have.

The four of you walked into the room and just stared at the decorations for a minute. People had clearly gone all out with this. You felt Bucky squeeze your hand, as he led you into the room. You met up with the other Avengers, Loki and Pepper. "Alright, everyone. This party is very important, so please stay out of trouble." Pepper said, giving a pointed look towards Tony and Loki. You softly snickered at that. After that, the group split up into smaller groups. You, Bucky, Nat and Steve stayed together.

A couple of hours later, you could honestly say that you were enjoying yourself. Tony still hadn't broken anything, but that was probably because of Pepper. Loki was behaving himself and hadn't taken someone's eye out yet. Steve and Nat had gone to the toilet and Thor had asked you for a dance (after asking Bucky's permission of course.) Unfortunately, it was not to last. You were just walking back towards your boyfriend, who was standing at the bar, when you saw another woman do the same. The woman had dyed blonde hair and was wearing too much make-up. You walked a bit faster, interested how this would go. You stopped at the bar behind Bucky and listened to the conversation.

"Hello there, handsome." The unknown woman said in what was probably supposed to be a flirty tone. "Uhm.... hi..." You heard your boyfriend respond. You could almost see his uncertain look towards the woman talking. "Are you here with anyone?" The woman continued. "Well actually..." Bucky began, but she didn't let him finish. "...Because a man like you doesn't deserve to be alone. How about you and I go out later for a drink? I'll make it worth your while." The tone now shifted to seductive and when you saw her stroking his arm, you had enough. 

You stepped away from the bar and took a few steps closer. Bucky looked extremely uncomfortable and was clearly looking for a way out, without it seeming rude. The woman continued stroking his arm. "Your arm is so strong. What is it made off? Metal?" The woman asked, not noticing you and still trying to seduce Bucky, despite him clearly not liking it. Despite the situation, you snorted loudly. She had NO idea. Both people looked up at your snort. The woman looked irritated at the interruption and Bucky looked relieved to see you. You stepped up next to Bucky and felt his am wrap around you. 

"Excuse me, but we were in the middle of a conversation." The blonde woman said in a annoying voice, looking at Bucky's arm around you with envy. You simply raised an eyebrow. You had faced aliens and robots before. This Barbie doll was nothing compared to that. "Really? Because the way I see it, is that you're trying to seduce someone, who clearly doesn't want your _advances._ " You said the last word with a voice full of venom.

The woman looked furious. "How dare you?! Don't you know who I am? I'm Sophia Evans. My father is a very famous actor." She gloated. You smirked. "And I'm friends with Tony Stark, so sue me." You shrugged nonchalantly. Bucky his his laugh behind his hand, knowing that you actually were friends with Tony. The woman stormed towards you and tried to slap you in the face. You easily ducked and slipped away from her, your training coming in handy. Bucky quickly stepped in between the two of you. 

"Ma'am, I would appreciate it, if you didn't try to attack my girlfriend." He told the woman, his voice just bordering on a growl, putting you behind him. The woman looked shocked. "You're with her?!" She shouted, drawing the attention of several people. Some of the Avengers walked closer, when they saw it about was you and Bucky. "But someone as handsome as you deserves someone beautiful." Sophia insisted.

Bucky simply smirked in answer. "Which is exactly why I'm with her and not with you" He told her. Sophia's mouth fell open. "But she's an ugly brat. You should be with me" She insisted. Bucky's smirk dropped and he glared at the woman. "Listen here, _ma'am_."Bucky growled. "Y/N is not ugly. She's my girlfriend, my Angel and nothing you say will change that. If I hear you say one more bad word about her, I'll make you regret it." He declared.

You gripped him from behind, smiling like a idiot. You knew Bucky loved you, but to hear it like that was always nice. "I'll gladly help you." You suddenly hear a voice say. Looking over Bucky's shoulder, you see Steve and Nat standing behind the brat. Natasha looked like she was ready to beat Sophia up and even Steve looked angry and disapproving. "Ma'am, you just insulted my girlfriend's sister and my best friend's girl. It would be best if you leave now, before you make a bigger fool of yourself and get hurt." Steve said, sending a pointed look towards your fuming sister. Sophia stood there, gaping like a fish, before storming off.

Bucky turned and pulled you in a hug. "Thank you." You whispered. He chuckled softly in your ear. "You're very welcome, Angel. What I said was true. I love you and that will never change." He muttered, planting a kiss in your hair. Pulling back, you looted towards the other couple. "Thank you guys." You smiled at them. Steve smiled back and nodded, but Natasha still looked angry.

You grabbed her hand to get her attention. "Nat, it's alright. That bimbo would not stand a chance against me. Besides, I know where Bucky's heart lies and that's enough for me." Natasha smiled at that. "But still, what she said was WAY under the line. She should be glad that either you didn't beat her up." You heard Tony say. Looking up, you saw him and the others looking in the direction Sophia went, Tony had a frown on his face. You know that someone messed up,  if even Tony didn't approve. "Can we just forget her and enjoy the rest of the evening?" You asked. There were a few grumbles, but everyone agreed. 

After that incident, the evening was calm. You had quite a bit of fun and no one bothered you again. You and Nat even managed to drag Steve and Bucky towards the dance floor. They were a bit awkward at first, but they followed your lead and managed not to step on your feet. After a few hours, the four of you left and went back home, having had enough.

Arriving at the tower, you said goodbye to the other couple and went to your floor. Getting ready for bed, you could tell that something was bothering Bucky. Laying down in bed, you snuggled up to him, before speaking. "Bucky, what's wrong? Something is bothering you. Don't lie." You heard him sigh. "It's just the way that woman treated you. Like you were nothing. It made me think of how everyone treated Steve when he was small and sick. It just pissed me off."

You smiled at that. "She was jealous, love. People always say harsh things when they're jealous. I've learned to ignore what they say. Besides, I got my soldier to defend me. I'm fine." You reassured him with a smile. He finally smiled back and kissed your forehead. "I love you, my Angel." He whispered in your hair. You smiled, starting to fall asleep. "I love you too, my Soldier." You whispered. You both fell asleep, feeling at peace. Unfortunately, that peace was not to last...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, everyone. Sorry it took a while. I've been busy. 
> 
> Read and Review. See you next time 
> 
> Next up: nightmares.  
> P. S: all mistakes that you see are mine. I'm writing without beta.


	4. Nightmares

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.

_It was just another mission. His commanding officers had been very clear: get in, take out the target and get out. The Soldier jumped over roofs, before landing on the right one. He could see the apartment of target. He jumped from the roof to the fire escape, a few floors above the apartment. He snuck down and peeked into the window. He didn't see anyone. He broke the window and snuck into the apartment._

_He walked through the apartment, silent as the grave. He pulled out a gun and put a silencer on it. He could not have the neighbours coming in to check on the noise or call the police. This mission had to stay as simple as possible. He looked into the living room. For some reason, the room looked familiar. He saw the target sitting on the couch, back towards him. As if sensing something was wrong, the woman tensed and turned around. At seeing him, her eyes widened in panic and she ducked behind the couch, his bullet just missing her._

_The next few minutes was pure chaos. The woman continued to dodge the bullets, until he had run out. Switching to his knife, he attacked again. The woman fought back, desperation and adrenaline fuelling her attacks. She managed to knock the knife out of his hand, but that moment of victory was short-lived. He grabbed her throat with his metal arm and slammed her against the wall, choking her._ _The woman gasped, trying to both pull his arm off her and kick him at the same time. her efforts became weaker and weaker, as her body couldn't get the oxygen that it needed._

 _Her eyes closed slowly and after a few minutes, she stopped breathing. He dropped her body and watched as it fell to the ground, her hair hiding her face._ _He was about to walk away, his mission accomplished, when some form of instinct made him turn back towards the body. He kneeled down and brushed her hair out of her face. His eyes widened as he took in her face. It was you._

_It was as if a switch had been flicked inside his mind. He ripped the mask from his face "No. No, please." He whispered, gathering your body into his arms. He rocked you back and forth. "Wake up, please. I'm so sorry. Please darling, wake up." He softly begged, tears falling from his eyes into your hair. You remained cold and lifeless, not responding to his voice. He kept holding you, whispering apologies and pleading for you to wake up, until HYDRA soldiers burst into the apartment. They ripped your body away from him and pulled him out of the building, him screaming and fighting all the way. He kept fighting them, until they made him forget again._

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Bucky bolted upright in his bed, breathing deeply and tears running down his cheeks. He flinched as the lights were suddenly switched on. "Bucky, what's wrong?" You asked, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinched away from you, shaking his head. "Bucky, you're scaring me. Tell me what's wrong, please." You pleaded, worrying if you should get Steve.

You shook your head. You could do this yourself. There was no need to worry Steve. You couldn't keep depending on him "Bucky, look at me." You told him, keeping your voice soft and low. He shook his head again, looking down at his knees. You reached out once more, grabbing his chin and turning his head towards you. He flinched at your touch, before finally looking into your eyes.

The pain in his eyes broke your heart. "I'm here, sweetie. It's alright. You're safe and so am I." You whispered, moving your hand to caress his cheek. He reached up and grasped your wrist, turning his face into your palm, giving it a soft kiss. You pulled him towards you, holding him close. He started to sob as this reminded him of his dream, just with switched positions.

You kissed the top of his head, letting him cry. Whatever he had dreamed, it had been really bad. You grabbed Raksha, the wolf plush that Bucky had bought a few days ago and gave it to him. After that, you just continued to hold him, rocking him back and forth, until he slowly started to calm down. After a few minutes, his sobbing had stopped. You kept rocking him, stroking his hair. Finally, you pulled back a bit and looked him in the eye. 

"What happened that made you so upset?" You asked softly.  You had promised each other that you would tell your dreams, no matter what. He tensed and you feared that he was going to break down again, but after a few moments, he started to talk. "I was The Soldier again... on another mission... I had to take someone out and I did it." He squeezed his eyes shut and held you closer, relief flooding through him as he heard your steady heartbeat.

"The target was you. I killed you.... When I saw it was you... it was like all my memories came back... I gathered you in my arms... I held you close.." tears resumed to roll down his cheeks. "I begged you to wake up, but you didn't... You were dead and it was my fault.... I killed you.... then HYDRA came in and made me forget again..." You hugged him again, resting your chin on the top of his head.

You took a deep breath. "It's alright, Bucky. It was just a dream. I'm right here and I'm okay. We're both okay. I'm safe and I love you."  You felt him smile a little bit against your collarbone. "I love you too. I love you so much." He whispered. You smiled, until you heard his next words. "I don't deserve you. You should find someone better" You heard him mutter. You sighed deeply. "James we talked about this. We both did things that were wrong and we both agreed not to let that take us down. I don't want to find someone better. I love you and you're all I need. Now try to get that through your thick skull, you jerk." You said, kissing the top of his head. 

You hard him chuckle a bit at the last part. "Do you want to lie back down or do you want to get out of bed?" You asked him. "I want to get out. I feel like I'm suffocating here." He said, pulling away his blanket and standing up, still holding Raksha. He saw you do the same thing. "You don't have to come with me. You can go back to bed." You gave him an incredulous look. "And let you wallow in self-guilt? I don't think so." You stated, pulling a robe around yourself.. You wrapped an arm around him and you walked towards the living room. You walked into the room, until you felt Bucky stiffen. You looked at him in confusion. 

He took a deep breath. "The living room in my dream.... It looked so familiar..." He muttered. You smiled softly in understanding. "It was our living room, wasn't it?" You asked. He nodded, looking down and clutching the wolf tightly. You hugged him, before leading him towards the couch. Making him sit down, you quickly grabbed a blanket, before sitting down on his lap, spreading the blanket around the both of you and resting your head against his chest. Bucky gave you Raksha to hold, so that he could embrace you with both his arms. He held you tightly against him, breathing in your scent,. He felt himself finally relax, his subconscious finally realising that you were safe. Somehow, he managed to lie down on the couch, without letting you go. You settled down quickly, using his chest as a pillow.

After a few minutes, your eyelids became heavy and your breathing deepened. You slowly fell asleep, one arm clutching your soldier and the other holding Raksha. Bucky looked down at your sleeping form, love in his eyes. He tucked the blanket tighter around you and kissed the top of your head, listening to your breathing. "My nightmare will never come true. I won't let it. I will always protect you, my Angel. I promise." He swore in a soft voice, careful not to wake you up. With you safe in his arms, he slowly fell asleep himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long. I just couldn't find inspiration and it's really warm where I live. The kind of weather that makes you not want to do anything. Anyway, read and review. See you next time. 
> 
> Next up: lazy day


	5. Lazy day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rough night, you don't want to do anything

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.

A knock on the door woke you up. You groaned, not wanting to get up. You snuggled against Bucky's chest. Another knock sounded, making you groan louder. "FRIDAY, open the door. They won't go away, otherwise." You heard Bucky say in a sleepy tone, before you felt his grip tighten around you. "Morning, my Angel." He whispered in your hair, giving it a kiss.

You smiled and looked up to the best of your abilities. "Good morning, my soldier." You replied. Just then, your sister walked in. "Oh, there you are. We were starting to get worried. You guys missed our morning run and breakfast." Just as she said it, you heard Bucky's stomach growl. You giggled, before finally getting up. "Come on, then. Let's fill that stomach of yours." You said, pulling him up and throwing Raksha on the couch. He groaned. "Fine, but let us change into something first." He muttered, now pulling you towards your room. 

Once you changed into some comfortable clothing, the three of you went towards the common room. Tony, Steve, Bruce, Vision and Wanda were already there. Everyone looked up as you walked in, you and Bucky still not fully awake. "Hey! Look who's awake. We thought you were dead for a minute." Tony quipped. You gave him a tired glare. "Oh, shut up Stark." You muttered, sitting down at the bar and rubbing your eyes.

Bucky sat down next to you, wanting to stay close. Two cups of coffee were put down in front of the two of you, along with a plate of sandwiches. You looked up and smiled. "Thanks Bruce." You said, blowing into the drink and taking a careful sip, before eating one of the sandwiches. The scientist smiled back, but looked over the two of you in worry. "So.... any reason why you guys are up so late?" He asked. You didn't see it, but you knew that everyone was looking at you. Normally, you and Bucky were some of the first ones up. You knew that Natasha wanted to know why you were sleeping on the couch

Bucky decided to answer. "I had a nightmare and didn't want to stay in bed, so we went to the living room and we fell asleep on the couch." He muttered. Bruce winced, as did most of the others. Nightmares were never fun. Steve walked over and put his hand carefully on Bucky's other shoulder. "What was the nightmare about, Bucky?" He asked. Bucky didn't answer.

He just looked down, shaking his head. Steve looked towards you in concern and desperation. You put a hand on Bucky's arm, making him look at you. You looked into his eyes, silently asking him permission. Bucky took a shaky breath, but finally nodded. You smiled softly, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. You signed and turned towards the others

"He dreamt that he was The Soldier again and he had to take out a target. He managed to do so, but...." You trailed off, unsure how to tell them the next part. "Who was the target?" Vision asked, seeing you hesitate and already having a suspicion about who it was. You looked at him. "I was." You said in a soft tone, almost inaudible. Everyone either winced or looked down. They all knew how much you meant to Bucky. Even Tony didn't make a joke. Steve put an arm around Bucky, bet he shrugged him off and walked out, fists clenched. You quickly followed, breakfast forgotten.

You found him in the gym, beating the hell out of a punching bag. You simply sighed, before walking around the bag and holding it. You and Natasha had figured this routine out, after Tony had complained about how many punching bags he had to buy. The two of you had noticed that the super soldiers would soften their punches a bit if you were holding the bags, no matter how upset they were.

You guessed it was because they didn't want to accidentally hurt either of you. Knowing Bucky and Steve, that was probably the reason. After a while, the amount of punches died down. You looked past the bag to see Bucky breathing deeply, but looking calmer. You let the bag go and walked towards him. "Do you feel better now?" You asked. He nodded, showing a tiny smile on his face. You smiled too. "Come on, soldier. Let's get you into a bath." He smiled as he followed you back to your floor. 

After a warm bath, the two of you spent the rest of the day snuggled together on the couch. Your sister and Steve came to check on you after a few hours and FRIDAY said that Tony and the others wanted to know if they were alright, but they left you alone for the most part. You just enjoyed the day together, doing nothing important. You showed him an old comedy movie and he enjoyed it immensely. You were about to doze off in the middle of the movie, when Bucky decided it was a good idea to tickle you. 

Your shriek was heard throughout the tower and a worried Tony immediately asked for visual on your living room, with a concerned Bruce watching as well and Natasha and Steve already running upstairs. They relaxed when they saw the two of you in a full scale tickle war. He quickly called Natasha and Steve back down, telling them it was just Bucky tickling you that caused the shriek. Both Steve and Natasha breathed a sigh of relief.

That evening, Steve and Natasha came by to invite you to a shared dinner. After a few seconds of silent conversation, the both of you accepted and you had a nice calm dinner with the others. That is, until Bucky accidentally threw some food into your face. The look on his face was priceless, especially when you threw some food back. This resulted into a food battle that lasted for at least half an hour.

There were no winners, but everyone had fun, even Natasha, who was at least one of the more serious ones, if not the most serious. Once you were all cleaned up, you spent the rest of the evening with the team, telling silly stories and just having fun. You saw Bucky smiling through pretty much the whole evening and you were glad that he wasn't letting his dream haunt him for now. 

Back on your floor, you and Bucky changed into your sleepwear and went to bed. Bucky was lying on his back, your had on his chest and his arms around you tightly and protectively. "This was one of the best days that I've ever had. Thank you, darling." He whispered. You smiled. "You're very welcome, James." You said. You heard and felt the rumble in his chest as he chuckled. "I like it when you call me by my first name." He confessed. You smirked. "Well, then I'll save it for special occasions." You teased, kissing the underside of his face. He smiled and tightened his hold, before finally closing his eyes. You followed his example and quickly fell asleep. No bad dreams bothered you that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 everyone. Maybe a bit short, but oh well...  
> Read and review. See you next time.  
> Next up: a museum


	6. The Smithsonian

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognise.

"Nat? Are you in here?" You asked, walking into the archive room. You heard your sister's voice from somewhere in the back. You found her surrounded by files. "What are you doing?" You asked, looking at the files in confusion. They all were about the forties and fifties. Your sister didn't even look up as she answered. "I'm trying to find out about something. Did Barnes ever tell you about his past girlfriend?" She asked.

You frowned a bit. "Very briefly. Why?" You asked in return. Natasha finally looked up. "Steve told me about her and about his own girlfriend called Natalie. However, there was something that he didn't tell me and I want to know what." She replied and you raised an eyebrow. "Steve lying to you? I don't really see it and I thought that he was with Peggy Carter." You said in confusion. 

Natasha shook her head. "Apparently, they were only good friends with each other and he didn't exactly lie, but I just know that there was something that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend and Barnes's fiancee." She explained and you widened your eyes. "He was engaged? Poor guy." You muttered at your sister's nod. Natasha raised an eyebrow. "What exactly did Barnes tell you?" She asked.

You hummed in thought. "She and her sister suddenly appeared one day. He got really close with her, but that it was not to be. I felt that it was a sensitive subject, so I dropped it." You answered and Natasha nodded in understanding. "Well, they apparently disappeared as suddenly as they appeared, because there is no record of them whatsoever." She muttered, looking at the heaps of files.

You thought for a minute. "Maybe, we're looking in the wrong place." You muttered and your sister looked at you in confusion. "I have wanted to go to the captain America exhibit in Washington for a while, but Bucky always stopped me, saying that it wasn't anything special. I know that he went there after the whole incident with S. H. I. E. L. D. What if he saw something that he doesn't want me to see?" You asked. Natasha gave you a small smirk, impressed with your way of thinking.

"I will ask Tony if we can borrow his plane tomorrow. I think that it's time for us to go to the capital." She said, before you both cleaned up the files and left the room. You went back to your room and saw Bucky engrossed in a book. With a smirk, you jumped next to him on the couch, startling him. Seeing your smirking face, he scowled at you. "Very funny, darling." He muttered, before pulling you into his lap and tickling you, making you laugh.

Once you had calmed back down, you looked up at him. "Is it true that you were engaged?" You asked and he immediately looked down at you. "Who told you that?" He asked in a low tone. You shrugged. "Nat and Steve told her." You answered. He sighed deeply and glanced to the side for a moment. "I proposed to her on the evening before the train. I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to think about the pain that I caused her." He said softly.

You smiled at him, feeling pity. You kissed his cheek. "You couldn't have known that the mission would go like that. Are you sure that she isn't still alive somewhere?" You asked and he shook his head. "Even if she was alive, I wouldn't want to give her such a big shock. She's better off thinking that I'm dead." He whispered, pulling you close and gripping your left hand, playing with your fingers. 

You leaned against his side, before getting a text from Natasha. Tony had allowed you to borrow his plane. "By the way, Nat and I will be gone tomorrow. Girl's day out." You told him and he nodded in reply, believing you. "Alright. Where are you going?" He asked and you thought quickly. "We were thinking of going south. Miami or something like that. Raid Tony's credit card." You answered and he laughed at that. 

"That sounds like a brilliant idea, darling." He said, kissing your temple lovingly. You rested your head on his shoulder, joining him in reading his book. You felt slightly bad about lying to him, but you really wanted to know about his past. His normal hand carded through your hair and you fully relaxed against him. You forgot about tomorrow for a bit and just focused on the moment. 

That night, you snuggled closer to Bucky as you started to feel nervous about the next day. You didn't know what you would find out, but you wouldn't chicken out now. Bucky simply held you as close as he could, his thumb stroking your back. He felt that you were nervous about something and wanted to help calm you down You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You fell asleep feeling safe in the arms of your soldier

The next day, you got ready to leave for Washington. Bucky and Steve drove you and Natasha to the airport. You hugged him tightly, before pulling back and resting your forehead against his. "We'll be back by tonight. Call me if there's an emergency, alright?" You asked and he nodded. "Only in emergencies. I'll try and let you enjoy this day." He replied, before kissing you. You pulled back after a few seconds and smiled at him, before finally leaving with your sister. 

One and a half hour later, you landed in Washington DC. You and Natasha hired a car and quickly drove to the Smithsonian. You parked and went in. Not wanting to look suspicious, you strolled around a bit. You had never been here, so you did your best to look at everything. Even Natasha was very intrigued, although she tried to hide it. However, you knew your sister and you had learned to pick up on the most subtle signals. 

After about an hour, you finally went to the exhibit that was dedicated to the blond super soldier that you shared a tower with. You smiled at a picture of Steve before the serum. "Look at him, Nat. He's so small." You said and your sister smiled a bit as well, looking at the picture of her boyfriend. She suddenly noticed something and pulled you to another part that was dedicated to your soldier. 

You smiled a bit sadly at hearing the voice over talk about how he had given his life for his country, knowing that he had gone through hell instead. Nat patted your back, knowing what you were thinking about. "Look at him, Nat. He was just a regular, self-confident man and they took all that away from him. They turned him into their puppet." You muttered darkly, wishing that there were some HYDRA goons in the room, so that you could shoot them. Taking a deep breath, you continued on.

After having walked through most of the exhibit, you suddenly noticed a stall in a dark corner. You walked towards it. The stall was called _"lost love"_ and had a small text that talked about Steve's and Bucky's former girlfriend and fiancee. About how they had been brought in by Steve and had quickly risen through the ranks, until they were at the same rank as the infamous Peggy Carter. It also told you about how they had disappeared a week after Steve had gone into the ice.

It wasn't until you looked at the included picture that your eyes widened. The picture showed Steve and Bucky standing straight. At the side of either soldier was a strong looking woman. All four of them seemed ready for battle. You felt faint as you truly realised what you were seeing. "Nat..." You said hesitantly, looking at your sister to see if she was seeing the same. Her shocked expression said enough. You turned back to the picture. "... that's us." You finally muttered 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I haven't updated this in almost a year. Sorry about that. I just completely forgot about this story. I'll try to update it more often.
> 
> Read and review. See you next time.


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